When it comes to making movies which are the most personally riveting, the most apt to take a mere idea and “bring it to life”, the Best Director Award without a doubt goes to ourselves. We’re so good at it that fiction becomes fact, and we can’t tell real from reel. Indeed, we don’t believe this is movie making at all. It’s real! It’s actually happening! And of course something is happening, but not the movie that’s going on in our head.
But if we have confused fact and fiction, how do we know we’re making movies, and how do we tease apart reel from real? Start with the known and move towards the unknown. Often we are aware of some emotion that is out of proportion to the circumstance. That’s a good place to start, as it’s a pretty sure sign we’re at the theater eating popcorn. Say there’s a strong reaction to a co-worker, he or she just drives you crazy. If you’re like most people, you begin to spin out a tale that’s part fact, part fiction. The fact part is this person said such and such or did this or that. The fiction part is everything else, all the character, plot, value and meaning we ascribe to make our reaction to what they said or did seem reasonable and more importantly, unworthy of independent investigation.
Our story is so compelling that we believe our reaction naturally comes out of the plot. He is a real jerk, can you believe he did that? So, of course I’m upset. It’s much harder to see the extent to which we get upset and then get busy with the plot line to cloud a better understanding of our reactivity. Facing that reactivity on its own terms, although sometimes very unpleasant, and often humbling, is ultimately a much richer and rewarding story because it involves a deeper sense of ourselves. Making movies just adds layers of drama and confusion to our lives. Claiming our reactions with understanding and compassion helps get us out of the movie business.