What do we use as a guide when all our choices seem to have a pretty big downside?
Sometimes it’s like that. We’ve gotten ourselves in some pickle, or life has provided a pickle, from which there seems no escape without pain, pain for us or pain for others. Mostly, we spin our wheels searching for that elusive pain free path, the one that magically solves the issue in some way that leaves everybody smiling. When no such path appears, we then usually avoid the problem if possible, in the hope that somehow it might solve itself, or just go away.
Our “choice,” if choice it can be called, often ends up being a sort of default, an unconscious resignation of doing this or that, as if acting without actually choosing absolves us of responsibility for any negative consequences. We act as if, often literally saying, “well, I really didn’t have a choice.” This reflects feeling the consequences of our actions, but wanting to avoid the responsibility. Some try the inverse, claiming full responsibility, but shielding themselves from any feelings.
What’s so difficult, but ultimately most rewarding, is both deliberately choosing and facing/feeling the full consequences of that choice. To both choose and to feel will expose our intentions, so attempting both will call up and challenge our ethics. Being clear about our own moral code and trying our best to live by it is the best way to find a path among the thorns.